A long time ago there was once a village once called

Deyela-tohme.

My mom's ancestors used to live there.

It was their home,

their everything.

 

Suddenly everything changed.

 

Along came a guy, Samore Toure

He wanted to make a change in society,

a change in my ancestors, for the better good,

But the question is,

Did his good deeds outweigh his bad?

 

What happens when people refuse?

 

War

 

Because my mom's ancestors refused to follow his path,

the war raged and they were forced to flee to my dad's village,

which is now called,

Khogolo.

 

A new life now awaits them.

 

So even though the past did not bring joyful memories,

the future gives them a second chance.

 

Khogolo was their second chance.

I was only 7 when I had moved from my old house.

In the old house there was the bamba family, 

The mouse,

 

the cockroach, 

 

and the spider family.

 

You wouldn’t call it the best house, 

but there were memories that I shall always cherish.

 

From being locked in the closet for crying to much

To being trapped in a laundry bag so I could be scared to witz.

 

No wonder I’m Claustrophobic 

 

But there were also good times,

 

 Like the time me and my sister Mariam use to play doctor with our baby dolls,

Or the time me, my sister, and my brother use to go to the park and shoot each other with water guns.

 

Yeah, water guns.

 

I remember when moving to this house, I had to leave my painting board.

 

I loved it so much.

 

It kept me busy when I was bored and made it easy for me to spill out my imaginations out on paper.

However, sometimes you won’t be able to keep the things you treasure the most

 

And I had to learn that the hard way.

 

The great thing about being a human being is that we always end up  having something new to hold on to when we have to move on,

 

Like my African pagne [African fabric cloth]

“Eh teh keh moh beyby leh Natou!,” my dad would say.

He said that I should start being a good person.

 

In my family I’m always seen as,

 

“The rebel”.

 

They claim I talk back when I’m not suppose to, but honestly

All I do is answer their questions.

 

I guess there’s a time and a place to talk.

 

They claim I don’t treat my older sisters with respect,

But to be honest there maturity level is way below mine.

 

“Natou, Mowh toh fola,” my dad would also say

Meaning “Natou, people don’t say that”.

 

When my older sibling would say things that I disagree on or I would find stupid, I would say to them,

 

“That’s very stupid”

Or,

“you don’t make sense”.

 

And I mean what I say and say what I mean!

But African parents never get that.

 

They probably never will, ever.

When I was In Africa in 2010, there was this interesting burnt corn

smell I couldn’t take my nose out of.

 

It traveled with me everywhere that day.

 

It’s strange how smells can stick to you for many years.

 

Every time when I go to hispanic carnivals, I tend to pass by people selling grilled corn with delicious topping and the smell would always remind me of Africa.

 

It calms me down in ways people can’t imagine.

 

If I go back to Africa, I look forward to reuniting with this strange smell,

 

Hopefully....

Once upon a time, there lived a group of Ivorians, my father’s people

who were traveling to,

 

Escape war.

 

There was only one rule to survival,

 

Flee or be killed.

 

So as my father’s people ran away,

They came across a long lake.

It was almost impossible to see the other side.

It was getting dark and they needed to leave

 

“Enna kedele ca baa tege?”, they said meaning “how are we going to cross the lake?”

 

So, they asked two messengers to go on a search to find something they can use to cross the lake.

So they went on and searched.

One messenger looked at the lake and suddenly he saw long rows of logs just floating on the lake.

He quickly ran in excitement to go tell the others.

 

“Afe Yeh na yere sooh yeh jeyeh ca”, the messenger screamed meaning “look I found logs in the water!”

 

They were able to successfully cross the lake, however when they turned around they noticed all the logs were gone.

They thought to themselves that maybe God sunk the logs so that their enemies won’t be able to cross.

 

They decided to take a break and rest.

 

The next day when they woke, they suddenly realized that they were mistaken.

What thought to be logs was actually,

 

Crocodiles 

 

They were all very surprised, but thankful that were not eaten.

They wanted to show gratitude to these crocodiles for saving them, so they decided that they were going to honour the crocodiles by changing all of their last names into what’s now called,

 

Bamba.

Sometimes you just wish life was different.

 

Things very depressing, unspeakable, and just plain unfair happens to you and you just wish you could change it, but you can’t.

 

Sometimes you just don’t want to be you anymore, but to be someone more popular or from a higher status.

Sometimes, you feel the pressure in wanting to die, or to be left alone.

Sometimes you get this thought of feeling left out or wish your life wasn’t so complicated,

 

You shouldn’t have to do some much of this, or too little of that.

 

Sometimes you come across this difficult situation and all you can do is just cry out,

Until your anger is all washed out in your tears and all you feel left is this,

 

Emptiness.

 

Sometimes you wish you wasn’t a girl or you detest being a boy.

You would look in the mirror and wonder,

 

“Am I cursed?”

 

Sometimes you wish your family would quite testing you and respect you in a way that would make you feel

Proud,

 

Lucky in a way.

 

You just want to have that normal life you see in movies, but you can’t because nothing will ever be perfect,

 

or meet up to your standards.

 

There will always be a time where you mess up

Or took the wrong path that led you to bad choices, and you think to yourself

“If only I took the right path”,

 

 But what happened, happened.

 

You’ve been struggling all your life for a simple one, and one tiny mistake happens and everything just seemed to collapse all at once, 

 

and there, it’s over

 

Sometimes you seem so different, or unfit in your house

That you wonder if you were adopted.

Sometimes you wish you could have

 

“The perfect friend”

 

Sometimes people die and you wish you could bring them back because there was so much things you’ve planned with them,

And death just comes crashing in.

It takes what it wants at anytime,

So smile while you still have teeth.

 

Sometimes your emotions are so use to you being sad, that you even cry on happy days.

Sometimes you just need love 

 

A hug could even do.

 

However, there are some people in this world who are not to get love

Or don’t even know what love is,

So be grateful for what you have.

 

Sometimes all you want in life is to be pretty or good looking towards others.

To be honest, there will never be a time where you are never having the struggles, and you just want to be you some days, but all this jealousy, bullying, and unnecessary comments,

Stop you from being you.

 

If only this world was perfect…

A little girl once told herself “what if”......

 

What if stars weren’t stars?

They were just here to watch us all through the night,

Or maybe just to shine so people can notice them and see how beautiful they are,

Or even there, because they want to be.

 

What if music wasn’t music?

It’s just there to clear our ears,

Or just to be here to float through the air from place to place, until they can find the right spot to land.

 

What if we humans were meant to be precious animals,

To live in the wild and act wild,

To do what animals do, speak nonsense, jump up and down,

Or fight to get what we want.

 

Quite frankly, we are like that once in awhile.

Conflict and craziness is just something we humans have made a habit on.

 

What if there was no such thing as english or all the other languages in the world?,

Then what will we become?

Probably just a bunch of lost humans, trying to communicate with each other,

Or maybe even dead because we can’t figure out a way of saying “I need food!”.

 

What if we didn’t know the phrase “what if”?

Then we all know I wouldn’t even be writing this poem because who will know what “what if” means,

Or, maybe we will work our butts of trying to figure it out.

 

There is quite one answer to this little girl’s question....

 

To put it this way, if we question our surroundings with “what if” this or “what if” that,

Then who could live life to the fullest,

 

Who…